Dear Funnyguy (and I mean that in all ‘seriousness’!),

Dear Funnyguy (and I mean that in all ‘seriousness’!),

I (shamelessly) plugged this new page/project on all the other pages I run on Facebook once Gallant Girls was launched. On one of the pages I run, some fellow left a comment on the post that said:

“Sounds pms-ie…”

I have to admit, I got a good chuckle out of it. That was humorous to me, even if it was ill-intended, because I can’t deny that I found it funny.

What are we as people if we can’t laugh at ourselves?! And in all honesty, my “pms-ie” has always felt like my superpower because it gave me my little Supergirl!

However, it DID get me thinking about that common response when someone — not just women — have something to say. (I’ve been known to ask my guy friends when they are being moody, “Did you get your period today?” all in good jest.)

I think it’s probably a combination of things:

* Women constantly posting memes and e-cards like the one I have added above. Us women, as I said above, being able to laugh at ourselves and make light of that “curse” we deal with every 28 days. Enjoying a good giggle at our expense, and not thinking twice about it. That, essentially, says this kind of response is okay.

* Men and women, alike, regularly making statements like, “Don’t mess with me during that time of the month!”, “A woman is always right; especially when they’re/we’re on their/our period.”, or the most famous one I hear, “Never trust something that bleeds for 7 days and doesn’t die!”

* And that fact that it is, frankly, a knee-jerk reaction to what feminism has become today. Quite sadly.

I think much of what is broadcasted and written about in feminist media and journalism currently leans much too close to “Male-Hating” and “Male-Bashing”. I also think that many feminist are picking the wrong battles (or maybe “wrong” is the wrong word, but “Nit-picky” might be the better adjective). I have never been about the modernized feminism that tears into men for being responsible for the oppression of women over the centuries. I believe, for the general populace, that we’re all working together in this equality and respect struggle as years and knowledge persist. (Just look at how many Gallant Guys we have here in this new community already!) Although, I am sure — just like anyone who is an activist in some form or fashion — that I, too, focus in on some things that could take a backseat to something bigger. We all have specialized hyper-focused interests in our convictions, and sometimes speak out about things that could be #20 to #200 on the list behind many other more imminent topics. We’re only human…

This, nevertheless, makes me feel frustrated at times, as well as forlorn. Never enough to throw in the towel or start throwing flames at those who misunderstand true feminism, but enough that I wish feminism wasn’t getting so convoluted by way of angry feminist over activist feminist. It makes a “true” feminist’s agenda all that much more difficult (and I can’t pretend to even define what a true feminist is, and if there’s even such thing, so I will let the dictionary do that for you).

Feminism is:

fem·i·nism
/ˈfeməˌnizəm/

Noun
The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Not *AGAINST* men.

But I will be honest with you… I read a LOT of articles, studies, statistics, and books on women’s rights and feminism. I believe, in every fiber of my being, in the definition of Feminism. Yet, with how some of this movement is being represented in current media, I have thought exactly what that poster posted: ‘Arf. This woman is just angry and ticked off at men. This is why so many of us are afraid to claim the title.’ Lately, I’ve been putting too much fight into not abandoning it altogether and just using the term “Humanist”. But I believe in the definition and founding intent of feminism, so I continue to do as I do, as they do as they do. Sometimes disenchanted, but sticking to it. I just don’t want to be ashamed of calling myself what I know I am…… what I know FEMINISM is.

So, no, fellow Funnyguy… Though your comment got a snicker out of me, this page is not “PMS-ie”. I think the difference between some world-views, and others, is if you’re a parent (and you could be for all I know!). Hence why I started Gallant GIRLS. Things drastically change once you bring a child into the world. It changes the way you see EVERYTHING. Instead of looking at it and blowing it off because, ‘Pfft. I’m strong enough without all of that poppycock; I don’t need to protest it to not fall prey to it.’, it begins to take on new shapes and struggles. When your daughter — who may or may not be a size 2, have perfectly straight, flowy blonde hair, and long legs for days — can’t find ONE doll on the market that looks like her (even if she has a strong character), you’re aware of the subconscious messages it’s sending her whether she has processed it yet or not. This, as a parent, makes you want to take a stand for her because her voice is still not heard.

When your daughter is only 13, but she’s now shopping in the juniors department and every pair of shorts cut in right below the curve of her butt cheek, and the tank tops are all coming with padded bras in them, you want to do more than *just* instill your values of self-respect and age appropriateness in her; because, well, this is what is out there, and this is what her friends are wearing, and this is what she sees all around her. Even if she doesn’t want to wear it because she feels self-concious in it, this is what is in her magazines, the covers on various teen book series, and her classrooms. Yes, we can (and HAVE to) regulate this, but we also have the right to question why it exists in the juniors department when most of who shop there are ages 10 – 18. We don’t want to be the only people telling them to not grow up too soon. We’re parents, and our job is to protect them, so we want to know why we’re not getting any help from forces that should not be going against us. It should be our job as PEOPLE, universally, to think of the well-being of our youth, first.

And when your 16-year-old daughter comes home and tells you that she’s met a boy/girl, you HAVE to sit her down and tell her all that is out there — all that could come her way in an intimate partnership. And it’s not just STDs, pregnancy, and rape… It’s the things many young people see before they are even sexually active; and may or may not be exposed to, personally, because they’re of that age, yet still unable to understand that this is not ALL a part of the experience, and they don’t have to do those things to explore their sexuality. So, even though it seemed like not such a big deal back before you brought her into this world, now you fear for what will be expected of her based on all these free visuals that are not about sexuality, but about objectification, misogyny, shame, and often times demeaning abusiveness. We’re not trying to raise rigid prudes. We’re trying to raise self-respecting, loving women who can have a healthy sex life that honors their dignity.

The same goes for men. If we don’t raise young women into women who respect and honor the boundaries of young men (who turn into men), than we’ve failed miserably as feminist, manist, and humanist combined.

Don’t worry. A true (there’s that befuddling word again) “Feminist” is not out to get you — we’re out to get and understand each other, even when PMS-ie.

Sincerely,
A Fellow Funnygirl Who Appreciates a Good Joke
(Aka: Heather Angelika – Founder/Owner of Gallant Girls)